She climbed the mountain, but when she turned around, no one was behind her. She stood there for hours staring not down at the world, but up at the sky instead. She saw everything she had ever done above her, mashed into the clouds. It was a sunny day, the kind that makes the sweat on your face sticky, and she loved it. The air was completely still and she didn’t want to move for fear that she would disturb it. She felt like her feet were gingerly standing on a still lake and if she took another step, the ripples would interrupt the flow of the rest of the atmosphere. She watched as the clouds began to come closer together and the sun was suddenly gone and there was nothing she could do about it. The moment a single tear dropped from her eye, millions of drops fell from the sky onto the same spot. She couldn’t cry anymore after that because she felt like the clouds had cried for her, perhaps in place of her. It was just enough for her to crumple down to the rock she was standing on. She couldn’t stay strong. Who was she kidding?
Just in that single moment, she saw everything she needed in the sky. It was as if her heart didn’t need to be sad anymore and she didn’t need to hide because there was nothing to cower away from. Although she was completely alone, it didn’t hurt her as much as it usually did. She simply knew that her fears were unfounded; she had no reason to walk side-by-side with anyone. She understood herself as she scrambled to her feet and began her descent. It was supposed to be a long way to the bottom, but time flies when you’re having fun. She hopped from rock to rock and every time her shoes hit new ground, they bounced happily to the next. She couldn’t control them in the least bit and by the time she made it to flat ground again and licked her lips, the sweat tasted sweet and well acquired. The smile on her face wasn’t even needed anymore because her eyes radiated happiness. They shone like stars in the night as she twirled. Her outfit turned into a ball gown the more she spun around. She needed no one to dance with, though. She ran through the rain holding her sopping wet dress in her hands.
Her hiking boots showed under the folds of the dress as she ran as fast as she could. Not knowing where she was, she tripped and fell onto the wet grass. Suddenly, her happiness turned to worry and she looked around. It was too early to be dark, but the storm was moving in faster than she had expected. She brought herself to a sitting position and drew her knees to her chest. Where was she going to go in this beautiful dress? It wasn’t made for running anywhere in the rain. Normally she would have cried in this situation, but she just wanted to get out of there and go home, because she wanted to be comfortable and happy and warm. Suddenly, as if someone had heard her thoughts, she was picked up by her elbows and brought to her feet. She looked down and saw mud all over her dress and her eyes began to moisten. Then she turned around and saw him. He had broken her heart so many times, but he was back. She rolled her eyes, but refused to touch him and told him to take her home. Taken aback, he reached for her hand. She let him hold it for an instant, but took it away to hold strong to herself. He looked down and walked ahead of her.
With more than five feet between them, she hated herself for everything she had ever done: letting herself fall for him, watching him leave, watching him walk back, and refusing to let his hand fill the spaces between her fingers. She never did anything right. They arrived at her front steps. Not a word escaped either of their lips, but his eyes told her that he was sorry. She looked at him, closed her eyes tightly and looked down, and walked past him to her door. Without looking back, she went inside, closed the door, and fell against it. Why was it that she always ended up on the floor with nowhere to go? Without thinking, she laid all the way down and fell asleep in her wet ball gown, and when she woke up, she was on top of the mountain. No one was there, but she felt a different air surrounding her. She looked at her clothes and saw that she was still wearing the dress. She felt her sides. They ached. When her eyes closed again, she remembered being carried up the mountainside and set down at the top. The hands were strong, but gentle. She stood up, once more at the top of the world, staring down at it this time.
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